Feeling Helpless

Have you ever felt helpless and you have no idea why you felt such way?  And if you told your counsellor about this, he, for sure, would ask if you're under stress.  So does helpless = stress?  I'm not quite sure myself.  There are times when everything that I planned falls exactly where it supposed to be, but still I feel anxious.  Or I'm in this midst of busyness when suddenly, out of nowhere, this anxiety creep into me without warning and explanation.   I tried almost every method that I learnt in psych course or tips that I found on the Net.  They're sometime worked, sometimes not.  Even if they worked, only for few moments before the feeling continue to haunt me.  Am I going crazy??  I don't know.  I don't want to know.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm not safe here. Or in any part of the world.  Feel like someone, or something is after me.

Sometimes I feel lonely.  Even when I'm being surrounded by people that I truly love.

Sometimes I feel I'm not good enough in everything that I do.  I feel I've disappointed many people, especially my parents.  I feel I didn't push myself 100% to get what I want in life.

Sometimes I feel like crying, as if I could suddenly feel all the sorrow in this world.

Most of the time, I just feel like I'm alone, on my own, trying to survive in this cruel world.

I never talk about this to anyone, for I'm afraid people might negatively judge me.

I never talk about this to anyone for fear I might break down and cry in front of them.

I never talk about this to anyone as I don't want those who count me for their emotional support might feel they lose me.

I never talk about this to anyone because I'm afraid I might taint the strong image that I always portray.

I never talk about this to anyone because I just don't know how.

Then, I remembered Him.  He's the one who will always there for me, not matter what time it is.  He's the one who listen to me without judging me at all.  He's the one who will comfort me and tell me that He'll always be by my side, guiding me in everything that I do.  He's my strength. He's my everything.

Seek help with patience and prayer; and this indeed is hard except for the humble in spirit, who know for certain that they will meet their Lord, and that to Him will they return.

-Holy Quran (2:46-47)