Giving In

Mom used to say, as a younger sister I have to give in every time me and Big Sis quarrelled, even though it's not my fault.  She said, as the younger one, I must respect my Big Sis and by giving in did not mean that I lost the 'fight'.

Now, whenever Lil Sis make scene and we ended up in quarrel, guess what?   Yup, it's my turn to give in, again.  Mommy said, as the elder one, I must give in so that I can set example to Lil Sis.

As a child, I'm really confused of what Mommy trying to tell me. Should I give in to elders as a sign of respect or should I give in to youngsters as a good example?  What happened to those elders and youngsters that I had to give in to?  Do they ever give in to anyone at all? I don't know, it's not my concern.

Sometimes I feel it's very unfair for me to give in all the time but I did anyway.  With my sisters, it's just a way to avoid Mom scolding me later for being so stubborn.  I figured if it would make her happy then why not.  But of course the anger still lingers inside me.  The only way that I know to let out those angers is by crying, and I still do that till now.  I cry when I'm sad.  I cry when something touches my heart.  I cry when I feel like I'm losing hope.  I cry when I'm angry.  I cry for every single thing.  Yup, call me a cry-baby, I don't mind.  I cry my own tears, and I don't use anyone's money by crying.

Now I have to say that I thank Mommy for making me give in all the time.  It helps me to know myself better.  It helps me to think more, about myself, life and other people.  It helps me to be more patient.  It helps me to deals with negative remarks that I got from people.  It helps me to see other people's true colours, which is not always nice.  It shows me that I could create WW3 but I choose peace.  More importantly, it shows me that arrogant people stay arrogant, forever.

But still, I feel disappointed at times as people see my act of giving in as an act of cowardice.  For this, they assume that I'm such a weak person and they put on their arrogant persona whenever I'm around.  Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.  I'm so honoured to see your arrogance side, only God can repay you all for the chances.

For those who always giving in to others, be proud that God give us such patience.  Patience will make us stronger.  To those who refused to give in coz you think you're the elder ones, or the younger ones, or think that you just won't give in to anything, most probably God will give you a different way to test your patience.  I just hope it's not too painful compared to giving in.